¡Gracias por compartir! / Thanks for sharing!

«…there is one thing you must fight to keep, and that’s me-time. Yes, it sounds weird for some moms who have actually lost that privilege…«

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Years ago, before I had my son, a coworker at the office gave birth to her third child and she was on maternity leave. When I called to check on her one day, she said that all she wanted was to go back to the office, she sounded desperate. I couldn’t understand her back then, I had to become a mom years later to understand how she felt.

The moment you become a mom your life changes completely. There are some moments in your new life when you think about how your life was without kids, and nostalgia kicks in. There are times when you remember all the things you used to do for yourself, and sadness kicks in, because as much as you try to go back to a few of those things, it will never be the same.

I am not saying that our new lives as moms suck, on the contraire, it’s an amazing ride! But your life will take a turn, and it doesn’t matter how much people warned you about it, it hits you. So basically, we have to let go of our previous life and focus on new things.

It’s not as disastrous as it sounds, so there’s no need to panic. You just started a new stage in life. A stage where you become the most valuable being to another human being. A stage where you are responsible for the raising of a child, and it’s up to you to educate this child so he/she can have a happy future filled with love and principles that will lead him/her to be a great contribution to the world later on. So, our responsibility is huge! It is up to us to make sure our kids grow loved, happy and confident.

But there is one thing you must fight to keep, and that’s me-time. Yes, it sounds weird for some moms who have actually lost that privilege, but it’s not too late to take it back!

My me-time is precious, I need it because it keeps me sane. Being a mom is so overwhelming and exhausting, not just physically but mentally. And if I don’t let that mind of mine set for a while, it will explode and I will start saying things I shouldn’t say, doing things I shouldn’t do, then regret comes later, along with frustration, and then it feels like I’m about to lose it. By disconnecting from home-duty for a little while, my mind starts seeing things from a different perspective. It’s like a reset, and suddenly I realize that the storm I lived the day before was not so bad, or that the problem that worried me to death was not that big, it had a solution.

There are some activities that keep me sane during my crazy and lovely ride as a mom:

Reading, and it’s best with friends

I am a bookworm, I’ve always been, so reading is a big part of my life. It is a vessel that takes my mind to different places and disconnects me from reality. I don’t know where I’d be without my books! When I became a mom, I stopped reading of course (except for articles and blog posts about babies) … But after a while I realized that I had to dedicate time to read no matter what. So, I created a book club. I needed something to push me to find time to read. It started with three of my friends and now we are a group of almost 30 girls! We read one book a month, which gives us plenty of time to find time to read, and then we meet in person to informally talk about the book.

The great thing is that we don’t only talk about the book in question, we talk about our personal lives; how we’ve been, what happened recently, what is bothering us… So, it always ends up being an amazing friends’ therapy session. It’s wonderful. Of course, only a few girls show up to the meeting; many women (mostly moms) have no time to go, and less time to read, but they are trying and that’s good enough. In my case, when I created this book club, I talked to my husband and told him that I needed his help because once a month I was never going to miss that meeting, that it was sacred, so he knows how important it is to me, and he knows that that day he has to come home early to take care of our kid, it’s no negotiable. This book club is one of my favorite things in the world, it makes me very happy.

A cup of coffee, out of the house, with myself

While my kid is at school, well, you know the routine; the house has to be cleaned, laundry in order, etc… And there are days when I have to go out and run errands, which has to be done before Nico gets out from school, because all our afternoons are booked with his homework and extra activities like music class and basketball practice. So, I try to run those errands as early as possible and when I’m done, I go to the nearest coffee place, order my favorite drink and read my book. I love this kind of me-time because despite being in a public place, I am alone, in silence, just me and my book, and it’s the most peaceful hour or hour and a half in the world!

Traveling without the kids

For some people is weird, and unacceptable to travel without their kids, or husband and kids. For me, it’s a wonderful thing. Our lives as moms are overwhelming, they are wonderful, but exhausting. We need some time off, not because we want to get rid of our family, or because we hate our lives, no. That’s what some people think and want you to think. It is because you love them, that you need some time to recharge, to renovate your energy. When you get back home, you are well rested, you feel better, and you can continue being the best mom for your kids. So, go visit that city you haven’t seen yet, with one friend or two (or why not alone?), go to that place you always wanted to see, take your favorite book, take lots of pictures, and disconnect from routine. I guarantee that you will return happy, and your family will be waiting, happy to see how good you look!

Writing about myself

This is something I just started to do, and it turns out it’s a great therapy session! I had no idea how helpful it could be, to write my thoughts, or memories I have of when I was a kid. A few weeks ago, I bought the journal My Story from Michelle Obama. Inside those pages you can read some of her quotes, which are very motivating, but the idea is that you write your own story in there, so, the crazy thing is that the journal asks you many questions about your past (very specific questions), and you have to write down what you remember. It’s amazing… Remembering those things about my life has been like a therapy for me, there are events that were happy, sad, tragic, but they are all part of me, and those memories made me rethink a few things. Since I don’t have much time, what I do is write a little bit on it, a couple of times a week, right after breakfast. It has become a habit and I love it.

An exercise routine

In my case, this one is in pause for the time being. For a while I used to go to the gym, later on I used to go jogging in the park, and later on I took yoga classes, which I loved so much and changed my life! All these activities I used to do right after dropping my son off at school. Right know my problem is that I don’t have a budget for classes and I am not enjoying the park anymore… A friend of mine recommended an online exercise program, and I’m currently considering to join, the price per year is way low than all the classes around here. All I need is an incredible amount of self-discipline… All I know is that I have to get back to it as soon as possible.

These are the activities that make me happy and help me deal with the craziness of motherhood, so, whatever it is the activity that makes you happy, and has nothing to do with family duties, please go on and do it! You need it! And I promise you’ll see positive results soon.

Other blog posts:

New year resolutions, do you feel grateful?

Self-therapy

Ready to send your kid on a trip without you?

I love getting older!

¡Gracias por compartir! / Thanks for sharing!