«It is very important for me to teach my kid to be independent (according to his age of course)…«
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Since I was a kid, I remember mom used to send me on trips without her. My dad has always worked on ships, so she would send me to wherever he was, for a couple of weeks during the summer; I also traveled with Grandma a few times a bit farther away. My dad obviously had to work and could not watch me 24/7, so there were rules that I could not break. Discipline rules, basically. I will never forget those trips because besides having so much fun, I learned to be independent. The teachings and trust my parents gave me were crucial to achieve that level of harmony.
Now that I am a mom, it is my turn, and turns out its hard! As a mom, to send your son away, even if it’s with family, it’s a challenge. I know that it was hard on my mom as well, she once told me that when I was an adult, but I never imagined it was like this.
It shouldn’t be that hard if they travel with family members of our entire trust, right? I think that is not the reason of our concern. The problem is that we protect our kids; we see everything at any time. When they come from school and we see their faces, we notice if they had a good day or a not so good day; if they had a little accident we check every part of them to see if they have a little scratch; we check if they ate all their lunch; and so on, nothing escapes our attention. But when they are far away from us, all those little things are out of our control, and that is the part that was hard for me to deal with during his absence.
Well, dear moms, let me tell you that our concerns will never disappear. We will always be checking on them and worrying about our kids. It is our nature. Right now, it’s because they are kids (mine is 8 years old); later because they are teenagers and they will go out with friends to parties and trips to the beach; later when they’ll have a girlfriend or boyfriend and will disappear together all day; later when they’ll go to college, and so on, and so on.
It is very important for me to teach my kid to be independent (according to his age of course). I feel that my job is to let go a little and give him the trust and knowledge he needs in order to be independent and responsible. When my son will be an adult, if he is not a “momma’s boy” then I’ll know I did a good job. I will always be here to support him in every way, but I don’t want him to make his decisions as an adult depending on me. My dream is to see my son as a happy adult who follows his dreams (not mine), and fights for them, I want him to make his own decisions and pursue his own happiness.
Yesterday we went to pick up our son at the airport; he spent a couple of weeks sailing around the Galapagos Islands with my dad. To me those 2 weeks seemed like a month. I couldn’t talk to him often because there was no signal, and when my dad would call, Nico would not come to the phone because he was playing around with his friends, so I only talked to him twice.
The last time we went to the Galapagos together I encouraged him to do snorkeling and things like that, but he never did. This time, without me: Nico practiced kayaking, snorkeling, swimming, and many other activities. I think that he never dared to make such activities with me around, because I would automatically make a worry expression without me realizing it, and while I’d encourage him to do one of those activities, I would also express nervousness, so Nico would refuse and I would feel relieved… Terrible, right? That is an issue for us moms to think about.
I am very happy that my son made this trip, he had an amazing time, and even though he says “I missed you too”, I know he didn’t miss me much… He had a great time, made new friends, and learned many new things! I thought about him every day and every night, but that’s a mom’s life!
Mi terapia es escribir. Me desahogo escribiendo sobre la vida, mis aficiones, aprendizajes, bienestar, historias, libros y recetas. También me hace feliz conectarme contigo.